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Two years ago, I attended a Christmas party at my parent’s house in California. Picture a dimly lit room filled with candles and wine, cheery tunes, and garlands twinkling in the background. I was standing in the kitchen, picking cheese from a platter, when a relative resembling a Disney villain pronounced that I looked more masculine than she remembered. She sipped her drink and cocked her head to the side, taking in my buzzed hair, green vest, and slacks.